The Stank of Skank

Last fall I tuned in diligently to watch the episodes of Season I and II of “Flava of Love.” Some of them I even saw twice and the reunion quite a few times. It was like a train wreck that I had to watch because I couldn’t believe it.

First of all, Flava in all his flayvafullness at 48 by definition of a 20 year old is an old man. The women that were competing for his love were all in their early twenties [as in under 24] – but they all had kids. So there you had the old man with the young girls who were vying for their chance at love and their five minutes of fame.

Secondly, they were all sleeping with him. Well at least not the ones that got kicked off the show early, but the ones that stayed on to the last four [at least.] I must say, the man showed some sense when he decided against the drag queen New York and chose the chick with the burn marks on her shoulders.

Since VH1 found a winner in the format of this show, the channel launched their version of The Bachelorette and we get to watch New York find true love. Unlike the show on ABC TV, this bachelorette has thin ankles, a huge cleavage that is flaunted at every opportunity and skimpy little outfits.

In the first episode New York [and us the viewers] met the men. After much preening she introduced her mother. Oh the men, where do I begin? Some of them were blatantly effeminate, some had a few screws loose and some were just nuts. Did I mention the Pooty the manwhore? And one of them called her his little black girl. Hahahaha.

Instead of this bachelorette asking the men sweetly to leave, she tells them to get the fuck up out of her house. Some of them got mooned a few times. Very charming indeed.

In episode two, we got to see her take one of the guys [yes, the one that called her his little black girl] up to her room to help her into her bikini and then watched her grind on him in the hot tub. Did I mention that there were bleeps over her nudity while he was helping her change? One guy had the right idea though. In a sitting with New York she asked him to kiss her. He kissed her on her cheek and refused to kiss her lips. In his camera time he acknowledged that he refused to kiss her because he had no intention of kissing someone that had kissed he doesn’t know how many guys already that evening. Hoorah for him, even if it got him kicked out of the house.

In a preview of upcoming episodes it seems that it gets raunchier. One would think that with her mother as co-host that the setting and attitudes would be quite sedate. Oooooohhhh, no. Not for a minute since mommy dearest doesn’t seem to care two figs about her daughter’s behaviour.

I bet ABC execs are beating themselves up for not bringing this soft core pornography of a show to their channel. It most certainly would have kept their dating shows on air and their ratings through the roof.