Sixteen days and counting

The mornings are the most difficult. When I am at that moment between sleep and wake; when I am still in that dreamlike state. And then reality sets in. He hasn’t called in over three weeks. He is not going to call now because his pride is most important to him.

Oh how the time flew. The good and the bad alike. The thoughts just strolling through my head, sometimes running. The only reason why there are so many memories is because after every argument I picked up the phone.

Because my pride didn’t matter. I had none when it came to him. After all, there is no pride in love - no shame and no ego. At least not on my part.

But now I know, if I hadn’t picked up the phone so many times before, three months it would have been instead of three years.

Three years of my life I will never get back, more scars on an already scarred soul. Many hopes crushed, dreams unfulfilled. Many empty I love yous. Manipulative soul.

Ah psychic is this the happy time you saw for me this month.

How disappointing. No “I’m sorry your dad is not here” on father’s day, sixteen days and counting. As each day goes by I am less and less important. And soon I become a distance memory, nothingness.

Puerto Rico

I just found this CD with pictures from 2001 from my friend Jennifer's wedding. This was by far one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to. It was small, only about 50 people and took place in the garden of the resort. My friend Jen is still the most beautiful bride ever.

With my BFF Gina at Jen's wedding in PR in 2001. A shame the rest are in print, such a beautiful wedding.

YIPPPES, I was sooo thin.

One hundred miles

To where????

Life's Good

After moaning and groaning for about two months I finally had more responsibilities added to my plate. So now in addition to managing all primary research, I am also responsible for TV and movie product placements and any ad-hoc print advertising opportunities that come up. Not too shabby at all.

I am swamped at work, school is kicking my ass. Last weekend I bought my first set of oils and am in the middle of creating my very first oil painting. Interestingly enough it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be, acrylics seems to a little harder.

You know, of the past few years I had forgotten how much I loved Maynard. I think its now almost 10 years ago that I drove about a hundred miles to Hartford to see him. Okay, so I didn’t exactly drive out there to see him, more like Trent. But it was love at first sight and even now when I hear him I can still see the darkness that surrounded him and become enveloped by that feeling.

Responsible work, fun hobbies, f**cking awesome music, new kick-ass wheels. I feel like breaking out the stratocaster. Summer has only just begun but life's good. Like being on the beach with an icy margarita.