Feel me up boys

Last night I once again tuned in to VH1 to watch I Love New York. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better it did. New York went on a date with White Boy and they proceeded to slobber all over each other for about fifteen minutes. Back at the house Six Pack and Real led her upstairs where she changed into her swimsuit to prepare for a “massage” and bath by the two “boys”. This was more like foreplay and somewhat pornographic. In her interview when she talked about it she drooled about having an orgasm while they were massaging her. While the two guys were feeling her up, Mr. Boston walked in and started slobbering all over her. That night before going to bed she engaged in long kisses each each of the seven men before going off to bed.

Blah, blah, blah and then came the elimination. During the elimination process, as usual, New York whined and shed a few tears. Mr. Boston picked his nose through the entire thing. He tried once but it seems whatever was up there he couldn’t get it out so he stuck his finger in and kept digging.

In summary, New York is looking for something and I don’t think its true love. I think she’ll be very happy to stay with all the men as they each seem to fulfill a need.

Why we cared about Anna Nicole

This morning the headline on a news brief read “Why we cared about Anna.” It’s the biggest crock of baloney if I’ve seen one. The tabloids didn’t care about her, they cared about their ratings. They loved her because she was a constant source of news and amusement.

I didn’t love Anna, in fact I never even thought about it. I am sad that she is gone, she was only 39 and had the rest of her life ahead of her. One shouldn’t be surprised though, after all how much can one person take? She just lost her son and was having nightmares about him, there were disputes and paternity tests to settle who is the father of her child and then more recently the Trim Spa lawsuits. It seems that while she was down anyone and everyone that could kick her was taking aim. And this only in the past five months.

Poor thing. Hopefully her daughter will have a better and easier life than she did. R.I.P. Anna.

Christo like

In my art class we reviewed art created by Christo and Jeanne Claude. Before I started reading about them I had assumed that Christo was the woman and Jeanne Claude was the man, going simply by their names of course. What interesting characters, and what background. They truly seem to have been destined to be together.

For the class I had to create "wrapping art" following the form of Christo. I didn't mind doing it but I couldn't thow myself into it because I found the images of bodies wrapped in white a bit disturbing. I am muslim and when a muslim person is buried they are wrapped in white cotton before they are placed in their coffin. Looking at the pictures and my own wrapping reminded me of death and my dad.

My mother-in-law is coming to town

Finally after being with my boyfriend for two and a half years I’m about to meet his mother for the first time and I’m as nervous as hell. And with good reason. He absolutely adores her and I’m afraid that if she doesn’t like me it will be a deal breaker.

I will certainly be on my best behaviour but since she speaks french and I speak english we will not be able to talk or have any conversation for that matter. Keeping my fingers crossed, I still have a month to learn french

So what exactly is art?

In my art class there are many opinions on what exactly art is. Some of them I agree with and some of them I strongly disagree with. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion and just because I disagree with some doesn’t mean they are wrong.

That said, I do believe art can take many shapes and forms. Cooking, baking and eating are great hobbies of mine. I believe chefs [not all of them mind you] are artists in their creations. I like architecture. Not designing or building anything but in actually enjoying and appreciating what has been created by man. So much so that one of the people I admire most is the fictional character Howard Roark. Oh what character. But, Roark is not a real person; he is the figment of someone’s imagination. Like Roark’s creator, anyone that can wield a pen in such a manner and tell us such stories that we forget that their work is pure fiction deserves the title of artist.

It is by no mere coincidence that Central Park looks and functions the way it does in the bustling city. It took great imagination to create such beauty out of a treeless, rocky swampland. Central Park is the way it is by man’s design and vision.Like the painters and photographers chefs, architects and authors deserve to be called artists as well.

Galiano

A cake

A hotel

A vile, pig-ignorant racist bully consumed by envy...

The recent events that took place on Big Brother UK just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the gutter but you can take the gutter out of the girl. Jade Goody is a pig. With her upturned nose she looks like a pig and with every word that came out of her mouth proved herself to be gutter trash.

As the Sun eloquently puts it:

"Jade Goody went into the Big Brother house appearing to be simply a fun-loving working-class girl canny enough to have made millions from her 15 minutes of fame. It was all a meticulously manufactured lie."

"She has left the house with her true personality laid bare - a vile, pig-ignorant, racist bully consumed by envy of a woman of superior intelligence, beauty and class."

I stole the below from the BBC because they did such a good job in providing a summary.

Big Brother controversy in quotes

In the past week, Celebrity Big Brother moved from being TV entertainment to a national race debate and an international diplomatic incident. Here are some of the key quotes - from participants in the show and key figures in the real world.

SUNDAY 14 JANUARY

Shilpa Shetty: "Why do they hate me? Why am I detested? I feel like I'm losing my dignity. I'm the only one they are mean to, I don't know why, nobody is mean to anyone else except me. I'm scared to say anything else. They've pushed me to the brink."

TUESDAY 16 JANUARY

Jade Goody referred to Shilpa Shetty as "Shilpa Poppadom"Jade Goody to Shetty: "You're a liar and a fake. You're a liar. You're not in Neverland here, you're not no princess here you're normal. You are normal. You are normal Shilpa and learn to live with it. You need a day in the slums. Go in your community and go to all those people who look up to you and be real."

Danielle Lloyd: "I think she should f**k off home."

Cleo Rocas to Shetty: "I don't think there's anything racist in it."Shetty: "It is, I'm telling you."
WEDNESDAY 17 JANUARY

Goody: "I couldn't think of her surname. Why would I be talking to someone like that, I don't know what her surname is. What is it? Shilpa Cookamada, Shilpa whatever Rockamada, Shilpa Poppadom. It was like that, literally come out like that.

"There was no fault or no racial anything meant in any of those comments. It's not in me to be racial about somebody or to somebody because I wouldn't. It was just a tongue in cheek, Shilpa Poppadom."

Shetty, referring to her previous opinion that Jade was racist: "I take that back. I thought it was because everybody was having an argument with me...

"You know, people say things in a fit of anger and I stand corrected. I don't feel that there was any racial discrimination happening from Jade's end. I think there are a lot of insecurities from her end but it's definitely not racial."

Shetty to Goody: "I don't think you're racist. But it did come across as kind of racial, what you said even before that. I didn't hear you say it. Your mum used to address me as Indian..."

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair: "I've not seen the particular programme in question and therefore can't comment on it.

"But of course, I would agree entirely with the principle that we should oppose racism in all its forms."

UK Chancellor Gordon Brown: "I understand that in the UK there have already been 10,000 complaints from viewers about these remarks, which people see, rightly, as offensive.

"I want Britain to be seen as a country of fairness and tolerance. Anything detracting from this I condemn."

Indian Minister for External Affairs Anand Sharma: ''It has caused indignation, it is most unfortunate, and any kind of racism - or racist slur - is unacceptable in any civilised society.''

THURSDAY 18 JANUARY

UK Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell: "I think this is racism being presented as entertainment, and I think it is disgusting. My personal view is that this has caused enormous offence not only abroad but to the Indian community here."

Bollywood filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt in Mumbai's DNA newspaper: "I believe no-one can insult you without your permission. Shilpa Shetty has paid the price for trying to desperately seek the approval of the West.

"It is pathetic how we can go on bended knees and lick the boots of Westerners in an effort to be part of their world."

Carphone Warehouse chief executive Charles Dunstone: "Our concern has rapidly mounted about the broadcast behaviour of individuals within the Big Brother house.

"We are totally against all forms of racism and bullying and indeed this behaviour is entirely at odds with the brand values of The Carphone Warehouse.

"As a result, we feel that as long as this continues, we are unable to associate our brand with the programme."

Channel 4 chief executive Andy Duncan: "The debate has been heated, the viewing has at times been uncomfortable but, in my view, it is unquestionably a good thing that the programme has raised these issues and provoked such a debate.

"These attitudes, however distasteful, do persist - we need to confront that truth.

"We have reached the view that we cannot with certainty say that the comments directed at Shilpa have been racially motivated or whether they stem from broader cultural and social differences."

FRIDAY 19 JANUARY

Goody after being evicted: "I'm not racist, but I can see why it has had the impact it's had. I can see why it looks like bullying.

"I'm disgusted in myself for saying what I have just seen myself saying. I do not approve of any of my actions and I do not approve of the words that came out of my mouth."

SATURDAY 20 JANUARY

The Sun newspaper editorial: "Jade Goody went into the Big Brother house appearing to be simply a fun-loving working-class girl canny enough to have made millions from her 15 minutes of fame. It was all a meticulously manufactured lie.

“She has left the house with her true personality laid bare - a vile, pig-ignorant, racist bully consumed by envy of a woman of superior intelligence, beauty and class."

Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu: "Sadly ignorance is not in short supply. Racism is real. As the week's events on reality television demonstrate, there is an ugly underbelly in society only too ready to point the finger at the foreigner, or those who might not fit in.

PR guru Max Clifford: "Ironically, the programme that made [Jade] could be the programme that breaks her. "Whoever is responsible for putting her in there obviously is responsible for possibly finishing her career."

The Stank of Skank

Last fall I tuned in diligently to watch the episodes of Season I and II of “Flava of Love.” Some of them I even saw twice and the reunion quite a few times. It was like a train wreck that I had to watch because I couldn’t believe it.

First of all, Flava in all his flayvafullness at 48 by definition of a 20 year old is an old man. The women that were competing for his love were all in their early twenties [as in under 24] – but they all had kids. So there you had the old man with the young girls who were vying for their chance at love and their five minutes of fame.

Secondly, they were all sleeping with him. Well at least not the ones that got kicked off the show early, but the ones that stayed on to the last four [at least.] I must say, the man showed some sense when he decided against the drag queen New York and chose the chick with the burn marks on her shoulders.

Since VH1 found a winner in the format of this show, the channel launched their version of The Bachelorette and we get to watch New York find true love. Unlike the show on ABC TV, this bachelorette has thin ankles, a huge cleavage that is flaunted at every opportunity and skimpy little outfits.

In the first episode New York [and us the viewers] met the men. After much preening she introduced her mother. Oh the men, where do I begin? Some of them were blatantly effeminate, some had a few screws loose and some were just nuts. Did I mention the Pooty the manwhore? And one of them called her his little black girl. Hahahaha.

Instead of this bachelorette asking the men sweetly to leave, she tells them to get the fuck up out of her house. Some of them got mooned a few times. Very charming indeed.

In episode two, we got to see her take one of the guys [yes, the one that called her his little black girl] up to her room to help her into her bikini and then watched her grind on him in the hot tub. Did I mention that there were bleeps over her nudity while he was helping her change? One guy had the right idea though. In a sitting with New York she asked him to kiss her. He kissed her on her cheek and refused to kiss her lips. In his camera time he acknowledged that he refused to kiss her because he had no intention of kissing someone that had kissed he doesn’t know how many guys already that evening. Hoorah for him, even if it got him kicked out of the house.

In a preview of upcoming episodes it seems that it gets raunchier. One would think that with her mother as co-host that the setting and attitudes would be quite sedate. Oooooohhhh, no. Not for a minute since mommy dearest doesn’t seem to care two figs about her daughter’s behaviour.

I bet ABC execs are beating themselves up for not bringing this soft core pornography of a show to their channel. It most certainly would have kept their dating shows on air and their ratings through the roof.